Matt said: “It was a very embarrassing accident. One of the issues with being so large, especially in hot water showers, is that it’s not exactly easy to see my feet.
“Especially when I move too fast, it can definitely mess with my balance, too. As I was rushing to get ready for work, I didn’t see the excess shower gel in the tub because my penis was the only thing in my eye line.
Right, because a fifteen-inch penis is totally going to obstruct your view of both feet and everything else below your waistline, and your dick is totally the reason you clumsily slipped. And you totally aren’t looking for every possible excuse to turn any event of your life into another opportunity to brag about your massive, record-breaking schlong.
🙄
If mine was that big, I’d probably just stare it, too.
Also Tom Segura has a bit about seeing a guy with a large penis
While I appreciate the link, I am absolutely not having that in my watch history. I really don’t want recommendations based on…whatever that is
Oh, c’mon! Where’s your sense of adventure?
It died when my bones started to creak
Mr. Glass?
Feels like it sometimes, ngl
Old age is probably worse, but middle age sucks
He just described the bulge he sees and then tries to play it off like he wasn’t staring at it. He says dick a bunch, and I think 1 fuck
Yeah Tom Segura, yuck
He just likes to brag & isn’t evolved enough to have a detachable penis.
What a blast from the past!
I don’t even have to clock the link, and King Missile is now playing the hits in my head. 🤘🏼
edit: leaving it, as-is
He does, however, have an enormous penis
Anyone can acquire an enormous penis & just have it on display somewhere to soothe your day.
It takes one to know one, and buddy…you’re not that guy
Thankfully, neither am I. 😅😶
That sounds suspiciously jealous 😏
I’m 100% sure you cannot get an erection if it’s that long, not enough blood in the body to supply it. You should probably get a surgery to make it smaller if you have this
Thanks, Doc.
if you are a doctor and have knowledge about it I’m happy to be educated, what I said is conjecture of what seems intuitively true to me personally
I am not a doctor, nor was I the one spouting room temp BS with an air of familiarity to the topic. What you’ve posted is a half-thought that, especially since you’re presumably holding a device, could’ve been just as quickly pursued to a citable reference you could’ve shared as part of your, now refined comment.
Think of the children, Doc. 🤌🏼
Summary of the article. " By the way I have a massive cock, it is just huge, biggest in the world. Did I say about my massive unit? It is really big…oh I slipped in the shower and broke my arm,…but let’s get back to the massive third leg I have going on. ,"
“Oops, I dropped my magnum condom for my magnum dong”
FWIW, that brand was specifically designed and marketed for average dicks to feel bigger. It’s their whole thing.
this guy gets a burn cooking and he’s like “must’ve been because of my enormous penis” trips on the stairs “dick got caught in the spindles it’s so big” gets sleep apnea “my giant schlong wraps itself around my throat when I’m sleeping”
I mean, to be fair… it must be pretty annoying. Chances are he’s not compatible size wise with 99.99% of women. Probably even jerking off is a massive workout. Probably gets lightheaded each time it fills with blood. Seriously… when you’re this far out of the normal range I recon attention is the main positive thing that comes out of the situation (at least for people who like attention). Everything else just seems needlessly difficult.
It’s just curious.
Funny story, but the size of my penis is why my balls always get wet when I pee.
Me too!
I was careless, didn’t look where I stepped, it was totally because of my dick. Let me tell you more about it…
Seriously. Dude is acting like he can’t see the floor because his dick is in the way. Be one thing if he had syncope due to blood flow. Just didn’t look.
…independently measured at [37cm], and a cast of it has been included in a museum in Iceland.
I have questions for Iceland; mostly about how to pronounce ð but we’ll get to that later
a museum in Iceland
a museum? when it comes to phalluses i believe it is the museum: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_Phallological_Museum
Something tells me the author knew it didn’t need to be named. 😜
uh, a 14er. Climbers everywhere, rejoice.
The fucked up pronunciation in Icelandic comes from when you put to Ls together, e.g. Eyjafjallajökull. It makes an almost click sound. You can hear it on the wiki below.
More or less like the english th. Thorn (letter)
It’s the “unvoiced” part that confuses me
voiced th is like this, that, mother
unvoiced th like thick, thimble, thirty
notice how the voiced th has a buzzing vocalization during the th sound, you can feel your teeth buzzing as you say the th in this
but when you pronounce thirty that buzzing is absent and the first buzzing starts with the i (the vowel is the first voiced part).
similar to th as in the English word thick, or a (usually apical) voiced alveolar non-sibilant fricative [ð̠],[2][3] similar to th as in the English word the
Should do the trick, no?
That’s what she said?
Sadly not.
Truth.
V and F are basically the same sound, except V is voiced. Alternate between them like VVVVVVVVVVVVVFFFFFFFFFVVVVVVVVVFFFFFF while touching your throat, you’ll feel the throat vibrate while saying V but not for F
Sort of. ð is the Icelandic rendering for both edh and thorn, depending on context. Edh is voiced, thorn isn’t.
eth, not thorn
Th
Is that flacid or erect length?
Edit: its erect length. When flacid, it was 25cm long
It’s pronounced like the “th” in “weather.”
Like a T, but slide your tongue forward a little so it’s against your teeth
do you not have your tongue against the teeth when saying T?
Not usually. “Not” has my tongue against the top of my mouth, just back from the base of the teeth. But if we’re talking about Lindt chocolate, that has your tongue against your teeth and you pull it back, making that sharp release of air. That’s the thorn sound.
Unrelated but this newspaper says:
Join our WhatsApp! Our community members are treated to special offers, promotions and adverts from us and our partners
There’s people that are actually saying “hell yes! Send me ads on WhatsApp, here’s my phone number!” ???
The world’s full of 'em, and many others, yep.
Ever since I’ve personally heard “I like some of these ads”, I’ve lost faith in the masses
Ok that is the most ridiculous explanation I have ever heard. Do you have to see your feet to know where they are? And how do large busted or pregnant women manage then?
Oof it must suck to be hung that big though. No balls deep in anyone, ever, and careful sex only.
Do people even focus on their body parts that much on the day-to-day? It seems like something that you wouldn’t think about usually.
When you have a 37cm pénis that’s probably all you can think about.
At that size, it better be paying the bills.
Wait, you have busted and/or pregnant women watching your feet?
I promise it’s a real issue for women.
I have been pregnant but don’t remember falling down because I couldn’t see my feet! I do remember my belly knocking into doorways when I miscalculated though, since it keeps growing.
Keeps?! How? They didn’t cover that in Sex Ed. 😶
Well until the baby comes out, lol. The things I remember trying that were much harder with the constantly shifting weight distribution were roller skating and cartwheels. Bigger and bigger till the baby punches its way out of your abdomen (since in sex ed they probably didn’t cover that part either).
But seriously, if women can handle that constant change in weight distribution, I am sure a guy with a massive schlong can handle having it without falling over. Unless it has a mind of its own and gets tangled around his legs or something.
are all the impressed comments in here from men lol
Men are silly. I have a friend with a gigantic penis (thickness and length) and he’s always very upfront about how terrible it is. It is difficult to find women that enjoy vaginal sex with a man his size and even when he does he has to be very careful to not go too deep as he could injure her. He can only wear boxer shorts, clothes are difficult to fit without looking indecent, and he always wears tights under his bathing suit.
he needs to find cooler pools.
Yeah had woman tell me that she dump a guy because his penis was to big. He tore her vagina and she bleed. She said that shit hurt. Having a huge penis isn’t always flex for women.
He might as well get into porn, but normal woman don’t want a dick that size.
Great story! Had a roommate telling a story of his old roommate in college. This guy was said to be packing a full-sized hair-spray can.
My guy is doing his engineering homework when his roomie stumbles home from the bar with woman. They head straight to the bedroom, of course. After 5-minutes:
“Oh hell NO you’re not putting that thing in me!”
She went straight out the door, still pulling her clothes on.
Poor fella.
Yeah I heard lots of stories just like that. Also when she was telling that story, there was several other women in the room and they all agreed that they don’t want a gaint dick put in them. You see that shit in porn, but that shit isn’t normal.
This reminds me of the lady that played Elvira. She was a Vegas dancer as a young woman and actually lost her virginity to the singer Tom Jones. She said he was huge and completely tore her up to the point that she had to go to the ER afterwards. I’ll try to find the interview.
EDIT:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/elvira-actress-sought-med_n_6317
Interview, hell she put in her book that I own and read all about their relationship. Everyone should read it. Yes that part was fucked up.
I first heard the story on the Howard Stern morning show as she was being interviewed back in the 90’s.
#BigDickProblems
This is a serious plot point in the novel The Godfather.
I’m packing 7.5", but skinny, and I used to hit bottom with every woman I had sex with. Fun to painful (for the woman) in an instant. A 14.5" schlong would be worse than useless.
Any bigger and he’d need a thorny crown to go with that cross he’s bearin’. Poor bastard. Betrayed by one of his closest friends. PSA: Don’t get Judas’ed by your own dick, y’all.
I’ve had an 11” before - like baby arm girth too. It’s absolutely physically taxing. Not just the “ouch” from cervix bumping but also there’s just something about big penises that make it feel like exercise. 9” is fun but it’s like I ran a marathon.
14.5 inches, what an absolute unit
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In the Godfather novel, Sonny Corleone couldn’t have a decent sex life because of his gargantuan penis until he landed a woman with a deep vagina. I am not making this up.
Dong Corleone
The world is full of men that can’t see their own feet in the shower!
OMG it’s real
Wow poor guy is probably going to get a lot of sympathy cards. Must be awful.
I can all but guarantee most women run away at the sight of it.
And the ones that don’t, he’s running from.
i mean you don’t have to put it in, i’m sure plenty of women would still have lots of fun in other ways.
That’s on them.
Jesus. They don’t make pants big enough for this guy.
Maybe JNCO
Deep cuts. 🤌🏻
“Man trips over giant cock and breaks arm” 🤣
I truly believed it was gonna be about illegal rooster flights, but I guess he gets that a lot after the big reveal.
Oh. Uh… oh. Yeah, no.
