Shitting while pissing is ok, as long as you’re sitting pissing
I imagine it would take a great deal of both mental and physical fortitude in order to curl one out whilst standing tall.
Or Rotavirus
I would argue that it becomes less of a curl, and more of a spew at that point.
Remember some people need fortitude to shit, some need fortitude not to.
Wise words, though I bet that’s a sentence you didn’t expect to write when waking up this morning.
You never see someone taking a shit while running at full speed. -George Carlin
It’s more a surprise than anything
Soon or later this will be you:
Now we can all laugh about it. So we can long after. But in that moment? You will learn what pure dread feels like.
Happened on my 30th birthday, after all the festivities. Felt appropriate
pissing while pissing
I love that someone took time out of their day to carefully plan and prepare this chart.
This chick loooves pissing
The real terror begins when vomiting enters the chat.
You rip the bag out of the trashcan and youre good to go. Been there many times.
I was sick when I was like 9 while sitting on the toilet. The sink was too far away, there was no trash can in sight, and the toilet was in use by my ass. I threw up half digested Chef Boyardee ravioli on the floor. Mfw -> :(
Now add rows and columns for:
- cumming
- vomiting
- bleeding
- menstruating
- dying
No, add these as new dimensions and make it a matrix so we can have pissing while shitting while cumming while dying
The hypercube of gross.
Elvis-Mode?
And sneezing. Have you ever sneeze-sharted? Worst feeling ever
sheezing
Quality shitpost
I think it’s more of a pisstake
Farting while pissing is awesome.
Brother you’ve got my upvote
why not all 3, pooping farting and pissing.
Had me cackling
Scrolling during an in person meeting. My God this one tested me 🤣.
I once did a piss, fart and sneeze at the same time. Got sort of like a really pleasant shiver.
Your body took a screenshot
Farting while pissing is cool though
you can see the autistic vibrations in the pee stream
the wat
oh fuck.
i guess I’ll keep that mistake
Is that an autistic thing? That makes sense. I always try to tune the piss stream with a combination of position in the center of the bowl and stream strength. Both affect the sound and i can dial ut in or adjust it to be pretty pleasing sounding (to myself). Its also extremely satisfying to be in the nuddle of a nicesl strong sounding stream and let out a nice percussive accentuating fart. If its a long one i can eve dial it in to harmonize with the piss stream sometimes.
the autism leaving my body as i take a piss
don’t forget to keep your autism hydrated and drink the piss
My version of this would have the smiley face in every square.
It’s good to be alive!
it’s all smiles so long as you’re sitting on the toilet, anything involving shitting is never smiles if you’re not on the toilet
Excellent point!
According to this, always be shitting and you’ll never have a bad time.
A-B-S. A-always, B-be, S-shitting. Always be shitting! Always be shitting!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention – do I have your attention? Interest – are you interested? I know you are because it’s shit or walk. You shit or you hit the bricks! Decision – have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the turtlehead comin’ out; you think they came out to take a look around? Guy doesn’t sit on the toilet unless he wants to shit. Sitting there waiting to deliver the goods! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Moss) What’s the problem pal?
PUT…THE TP…DOWN! TP is for SHITTERS.
Oh my God, is this a script except? I honestly thought you might be insane until the “(to Moss)”
Always be shitting does sound familiar…
I modified Alec Baldwin’s “Always Be Closing” speech from Glengarry Glenross. If you haven’t seen it, it’s good.
Finally got around to it. It’s great!
Fucking Alex Baldwin is such a baby faced shit! Wanted to slug him!
And not I know who Jack Lemmon was
Oh that’s awesome! It’s a brilliant movie. Mammet is a great writer who went full on MAGA. It’s really unfortunate.
Ok, so I just made up always be shitting as definitely being a thing. Damnit. It felt so real.
Thanks for the rec though!
Great movie.
I haven’t seen it, but Bill Burr, Bob Odenkirk, Kieran Culkin, and Michael McKean were just recently in a Broadway run of it. I can’t imagine it being anything short of amazing.
Cool, thanks for seconding. I think I’ll watch it tonight!
Unless you do it while farting😧
Sitting to pee instantly solves half of these
are you imagining this woman pees standing up…?
I am now.
This chart is for sitting to pee.
Then I don’t see the problem in shitting during peeing.
The problem is your bathroom timeline just changed. That’s a face of consternation because a 1 minute excursion has turned into at least 5 minutes.
Oh, I see. I read my saved articles in the bathroom so it takes me around 184 minutes regardless of what my initial purpose was anyway.
