Hey Folks!

I’ve been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19€ bill? Here’s a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there’s a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don’t know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don’t tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

      • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.com
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        3 years ago

        While I agree with the premise that minimum wage increases raise living costs… If the tips are already increases wages, I fail to see how tipped low wages are not effectively the same as untipped higher wages.

          • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.com
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            3 years ago

            What does that have to do with anything? Minimum wage increases tends to lead to people having more disposable income… which leads to companies and the like charging more for services because the market can now bare it.

            What does corporate finances have to do with a person making their low wages + tips vs just an up front higher wage to get to a higher minimum wage?

  • SteelCorrelation@lemmy.one
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    3 years ago

    Here, unfortunately, YTA if you don’t tip. I forgot once and had the server run after me to make sure something wasn’t wrong. Some service folks take it personally if you don’t tip, which makes sense given that their employers don’t pay them shit. So yeah, you the customer foot the bill for ensuring these people can make ends meet… as if giving the restaurant your custom wasn’t support enough.

    The problem is that, like most other industries here in the US, the system is rigged against the working class. While not all restaurant owners intend to fuck over their staff (especially smaller, local places), it’s how it works. Now, some places will automatically add gratuity to your bill under certain conditions, so check your breakdown to ensure it’s not already included. This is becoming more common, which irritates me since I scale my tip based on the quality of the service rendered.

    Also, we know it’s expensive here. Don’t bother coming here to complain about it, we do it enough ourselves. Tipping is here to stay for now and I don’t imagine it changing for quite some time.

    • Stovetop@lemmy.ml
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      3 years ago

      Just to add onto this good answer, you are really only expected to tip for sit-down restaurants with service and bars.

      For takeout, cafes, fast food, etc., you don’t need to tip. A lot of places these have payment machines that just ask if you want to tip by default. You can safely hit “No tip” on these if you don’t want to.

      Ostensibly it’s just to replace the tip jar for those who don’t use cash, but the prompt appearing every time you pay by card has convinced a lot of people that tipping is what you’re supposed to do in those situations, when in reality you have no obligation to.

  • vitriolix@lemmy.ml
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    3 years ago

    Definitely tip. If you think the whole system sucks that’s fine, but don’t take out that frustration on the likely vastly underpaid employees

    • The Quuuuuill@slrpnk.net
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      3 years ago

      You enter a social compact when you enter an establishment that does tipping. When you don’t tip, you’re not making it better, your making sure someone goes hungry

  • masto@vlemmy.net
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    3 years ago

    Yes. You really have to tip. 20%. Sorry. And tax isn’t included in the prices of things. That’s the way things work here and you can choose to spend the whole time being annoyed by it or not. But please don’t make a personal protest that only hurts some of the lowest paid and hardest working people.

  • circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org
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    3 years ago

    I’d say yes. The situation is complex.

    It’s clear that tipping culture is out of control. There are many places asking for 20% tips even when ordering from a counter where the interaction takes about 10 seconds.

    Unfortunately there has also been a systematic underpayment of wages which has occurred largely on the back of tips. In some states it is even legal to pay less than minimum wage and supplement that with tips. For that reason, it’s not really an option to simply not tip without being the bad guy.

    Certainly the system needs to change, but as of this moment in the US, just assume everything actually costs 20% more and tip.

    • BrainisfineIthink@lemmy.one
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      3 years ago

      it’s not really an option to simply not tip without being the bad guy

      My man you have got to shake this from your psyche, that’s exactly how the employers that aren’t paying their employees want you to feel. You’re offloading their greed and systematic exploitation of working class people onto yourself under the misplaced guise of personal guilt. There may not a way to immediately fix the problem, but I can guarantee it will never get fixed if we dont change anything.

  • Dandroid@dandroid.app
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    3 years ago

    Just FYI, we have recently had a huge influx of electronic systems asking for tips in places that tips didn’t exist before. I only tip when I sit down to eat at a restaurant and they serve me. If you walk up to the counter to order, you don’t tip. If you are ordering takeout (even at a sit-down restaurant), you don’t tip.

    It’s a really fucking stupid system that most of us hate, but if you don’t participate, you are the asshole according to our culture (even though we know it’s really the businesses not paying their employees enough that are really the assholes)

    Edit: oh, and then “suggested tip” went up around the same time that these electronic systems popped up. My whole life, a 10% tip was bad, a 15% tip was average. A 20% tip was good. Now it seems the “suggested tip” says you should tip 20% minimum. I think this is bullshit, and I ignore it. The people who are suggesting the tip are the ones that benefit from it going higher. They are always going to try to increase it as long as they can get away with it. I stick to the 10/15/20% rule.

    • kn0wmad1c@programming.dev
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      3 years ago

      There’s been a small movement towards going tipless that hasn’t yet caught on because tip culture is primarily backed by greed. Restaurant owners want customers to pay their employees directly instead of providing them with a decent wage.

      I know I’m likely misrepresenting, but that’s the gist as I see it, and until greed goes away everything @[email protected] said holds true.

      • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.com
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        3 years ago

        Restaurant owners want customers to pay their employees directly instead of providing them with a decent wage.

        A lot of employees want this as well. Those who do well in well traveled restaurants or bars then to make WELL over the minimum wage. This is why the employees get mad at the patron/client rather than their employer when they don’t get a tip. It works… it’s what many of them want.

        The sad part is that prices for things have already been going up considerably… So what was a $5 tip @ 10% years ago is now closer to $20 tip @ 20% today for the same meals/amount of food. It isn’t a 2x increase at all… Since it’s % based on subtotal and those costs have been going up… it’s significantly more if you follow their “minimum” percent tips.

        I follow something similar to Dandroid and refuse to change. I only tip for sit-down restaurants where an actual servers brings me my food. If I get shit service, you’re not getting a tip. If it’s basic service, you’ll get 10%… 15% for “good”… 20% for outstanding. Although looking at the laws in my state, I’m debating on cutting it back considerably. Minimum wage in my state is not the $3.and change per hour for those positions. It’s just about $11 and the normal minimum wage is $13 and change. So if I’m the only table in their whole section, and I tip 2$ per hour, they’re making minimum wage. And people here still complain about the tipping… The only explanation is greed… and I can’t stand that at all.

        • kn0wmad1c@programming.dev
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          3 years ago

          As I recall, restaurants can get by with giving workers well below minimum wage because of tips.

          EDIT: I just re-read your post

          • Saik0@lemmy.saik0.com
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            3 years ago

            https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/state/minimum-wage/tipped

            This is a great resource when these discussions come up. Many states do NOT adhere to the $2.13 tipped wage.

            In my state (AZ) it’s $10.85. People here still complain about tips. The minimum wage here is $13.85. The $3 difference is nearly guaranteed as long as long as you have 1 table an hour. Forget that the normal where I live is probably closer to 3-4 every hour. [I recognize that other areas may not have such traffic. But I can only comment on what I observe]

            If the average table is leaving ~$5 in tips… you could easily make $30 an hour in wages.

            This is why I say what I say… It’s absurd when I hear local news or something complaining. $30/hr is stupid “livable”.

  • JoYo@lemmy.ml
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    3 years ago

    no it’s not required but I can afford to tip so I do and that makes me better than people who don’t ;)

  • Zengen@social.fossware.space
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    3 years ago

    Honestly dude if you cant afford to tip. You have no business eating out in america. As a former tip worker, ya they us about 5$ an hour BECAUSE the workers make up for it in tips. and thats a big IF. theirs no obligation on the employer to make sure that they actually come up positive. and Ultimately if you dont tip because you dont agree with tipping? You just forced one of the poorest members of our country to serve you for literally 3$ which quite honestly? kinda makes you a piece of shit if you do that.

  • PowerCrazy@lemmy.ml
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    3 years ago

    You do not have to tip. Feel free to, but there is no law, no moral reason, and in a Capitalist Society it is enforcing the status quo. The tip is just a way to subsidize the owner of the restaurant and ensure workers are never paid more then minimum wage without tips.