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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 15 days ago

Visibly Bruised Pete Hegseth Declares Wobbly Barstools Threat To National Security

theonion.com

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Visibly Bruised Pete Hegseth Declares Wobbly Barstools Threat To National Security

theonion.com

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 15 days ago
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WASHINGTON—Occasionally pausing to rub his bleeding temple as he delivered the statement, visibly bruised Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth declared Friday that wobbly barstools were a threat to national security. “Our enemies are attempting to destabilize the United States by planting those rickety deathtraps in our nation’s restaurants, breweries, and watering holes, and now they […]
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  • A_norny_mousse@feddit.org
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    15 days ago

    These days most headlines give me that tingle of uncertainty: truth or satire?

  • Optional@lemmy.world
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    15 days ago

    • Optional@lemmy.world
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      15 days ago

      “choked on a pretzel”

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