27.5 if you’re drunk

Sort of describes bulimia I guess

That last sentence - yes! 0 degrees outside? No problem, coat. 80 degrees outside? I turn into a fussy baby. At 90 I’m like non functional

My cat when I don’t feed her on time

I know right. I’m 39, all 20.

I’ve seen my wife open the mailbox, look at what’s in it, say “Ugh I don’t want to deal with that,” and PUT IT BACK IN THE MAILBOX

(´･ω･`)

I used to yawn incessantly during warmups before rugby matches. My coach would yell at me to get my head into the game. I kept telling him it’s just what happens when I’m warming up it doesn’t mean anything!

Mein Vierjähriger auch

My wife and I refer to this as the “Kitty Claws” of our marriage contract

Oh hell yes, utilize drives me nuts. Its supposed to mean when you find a particularly effective, often different than typical purpose, for usage of something.

I utilize the word utilize as a way to identify people who spit out word jargon to hide their ineptitude

“instead of using toilet paper he wipes his ass with a town that then he stores full of shit on a drawer”

I have a lot of questions about this part

Yeah I was thinking this sound alike my 4 year old

I do know a shaman. She does not dress like that

I studied engineering in college (in the US) and on exams they’d throw a mix of imperial and metric problems at us.

Any time it was imperial, a lot of us would convert everything to metric, solve the problem, then convert the answer back to imperial

If you find a way to teach this lesson let me know.

My wife loves to cook and is very good at it, but she’s purely focused on the food. I try to clean as she goes behind her and she keeps shooing me away because I’m in way. However if I don’t then she’ll start getting annoyed that the sink is full. It’s a delicate balance

Agreed, chaotic evil right there

Yeah the first time I tried the two options for clothes on my then-two year old, he snatched both options out of my hands, threw them on the ground, and screamed NO CLOTHES

True, but at some point they’ll leak it by sharing the file with the wrong email address

Ohhhh. Yup had no idea, thanks